Hello friends. Let’s have a chat.
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently is the way that others want to see disabled people, particularly in relation to inspiration/pity porn.
In my own life, towards the start of my illness and when I was discharged from hospital – people in my personal life were happy to discuss what was happening to me, to share the news, to chat about it over coffee with friends etc.
When I was stuck back in my parents spare room, unable to keep my eyes open, unable to leave the house – it was a great story to share that was bound to get people who heard it to shed a tear or shake their heads and tut along in disbelief.
But what I noticed- as I started to regain ‘Lucy’ and was able to start making my own life choices again, and made my journey down the path I am on today, an unconventional path – social media, reclaiming my sexuality, speaking out loudly and confidently spreading my message wherever I can … these people were no longer accepting and supportive of me. Instead, MY behaviour became the source of the tutting and the head shaking.
It was harder to pity the girl wearing some (rather exquisite) underwear & womping out with messages of being disabled and sexy. Even though my condition hadn’t changed, and everything I’d been through hadn’t disappeared.
Now I heard reports of family members and acquaintances with their judgmental takes on how id turned my life around.
And I wonder – would it make you more comfortable if I was still in that bed? Do i make you uncomfortable because I don’t match the preconceived idea you had in your head of what knowing a disabled person would be like? Can you not proudly tell your friends, around coffee, about the girl you knew who had a brain disease anymore in case they Google me and see me rocking some Ann summers or lovehoney?
Disabled people often have to force our own paths in life, finding work that allows for our conditions and best believe I tried a multitude of jobs, and struggled immensely. I am so lucky to have landed where I have after such a traumatic ride, and even if you cannot be proud of me, I am proud of myself 🙋🏼♀️🦓
Lucy Dawson 